Dan: President Bush said that Europe is "an annoyance". Ace career move Bill!

Kathrine: My mum always said that if I looked too much into a screen my eyes would look like squares in the end.

Mary: I don't have the Internet on my computer.
Ed: Yes you do; just click on the Internet icon.
Mary: Oh dear.
Ed: What?
Mary: I clicked on Shutdown and then OK.

Joan: Those ready-meals don't look very nice. They're minge.

Dave: Can I lie in your bed for an hour?
Toby: No.
Dave: But I'm hungry!

(After being sick)

Lottie: Biscuits came out.

Grundy: Is he that doctor who does live TV autisms?

Ed: What are those Jewish skull caps called?
Lottie: Stewies?

Jim: I just spoke to Manetti on the phone and he said your Sunshine Square proposal is totally FUCKED.
Ale: What?! Why?!

Ses: I can't eat nuts; I've got a nut allergy.
Sam: Then you'll be fine with peanut butter.

Kelly: What's that pop-in chicken box biscuit place?

Len: Who played Angie in Eastenders?
Darren: Errr. Angie-someone wasn't it?

Sylvia: Why does my computer make that funny noise when I turn it off?
Ed: What noise? Does it go hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo?
Sylvia: Yes; what is it?
Ed: I don't know
Sylvia: Well how did you know what it went like?
Ed: I didn't; I made that up
Sylvia: Well then.
Ed: Well what?
Sylvia: Well you don't know what it goes like then.

Sylvia: Why is this website asking if I want to read it in French? I don't speak French.
Ed: Yeah. I hate it when there are road signs pointing the way to Bristol; I don't live in Bristol!
Sylvia: Exactly!

Darren: Commercial space flight soon, they reckon.
Sylvia: Why would I want to go to space? I could go under a bus tomorrow.

Kel: What's that? It looks like an exploded crotch guard or something.

Angela: They have a big frog ... marionette in France. It was President.

Angela: It sounds like the big blue, with the membranes everywhere.
Leo: Book.
Angela: Yes, in the book!

Rachel: Holy jizm! That sounds like something Scooby Doo might say.

(Whilst looking at pictures of giant Anteaters)

Simon: It almost looks like a squid.
Matt: Anteater actually means land squid.
Simon: Does it?